2011年6月1日 星期三

Discussing cause-I

        Michael Williams opened a new store selling compact discus. But he run this store for three months, he ultimately closed it. And there are several causes of his failure. One reason is that the location of this store is far from the town. Therefore, most people would buy discs in two large music stores in the town rather than in Michael’s store. Another reason is that the age of residents in the Fairfax is almost forty to sixty. Many middle-age people don’t like the hip-hop and rock music. Eventually, the hours of opening are so short that the clients do not have enough time to choose what they want. Besides, Saturday and Sunday are the rush hours, but, Michael’s store doesn’t open on two days. To sum up, if Michael had looked into in advance, he would not have closed down his store.

8 則留言:

  1. compact discus是不是打錯字了
    But he run this store for three months, he ultimately closed it沒有連接詞哦而且run要用過去式
    don’t like the hip-hop and rock music不用加the吧
    Eventually, the hours of opening are so short that the clients do not have enough time →eventually可以這樣用嗎?
    差不多就這樣~

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  2. But he run this store for three months, he ultimately closed it.
    我會想寫However, after running this store for...
    (↑參考就好)

    Eventually, the hours of opening are so short that the clients do not have enough time to choose what they want.
    我覺得這句造成的原因有點奇怪
    沒有人會選CD要選好幾個小時吧!
    根據講義應該是那個時段的人很少~

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  3. compact discus 這是什麼意思阿?
    But he run this store for three months
    感覺用has run比較好
    Michael’s store doesn’t open on two days
    on the two days要指定那兩天吧!

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  4. "compact discus"錯字。

    But he run this store for three months, he ultimately closed it. 在下覺得可以改成:
    "He ran this store for three months, but he..."

    Many middle-age people don’t like ...
    想要改"Most of the middle-aged..."(參考用)

    Besides, Saturday and Sunday are the rush hours, but, Michael’s store doesn’t open on two days.
    "rush hours"不確定是否能用在此,
    因其多指交通的尖峰時刻。
    欲在"two days"前面加上"these",表示強調。

    末句,同樣不確定"look into"是否為不及物動詞。


    如有誤,請不吝嗇指教。

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  5. 1.But he run this store for three months, he ultimately closed it.
    →However, he had run this store for three months, and ultimately closed it.
    ﹡下一句開頭的And可刪掉。

    ﹡時態統一時態統一時態統一時態統一時態統一時態統一時態統一時態統一時態統一時態統一時態統一時態統一時態統一時態統一時態統一時態統一時態統一時態統一時態統一時態統一。妳好像每篇都讓我講到這個問題=_="
    寫的時候多注意一下1.時態2.動詞、名詞單複數
    以上,淺見…

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  6. 時態反覆不一噢...

    but, Michael’s store doesn’t open on two days.
    這句two前面加個the
    限定前面兩個假日噢^^

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  7. compact discus
    這是?

    But he run this store for three months, he ultimately closed it.
    改"ran"應該會好一點

    應該沒了吧

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